I am not a sympathetic person. I'm a bitch, what do you expect?
Nor am I a very empathetic person. If I've gone through something and survived there is no reason someone else wouldn't either.
I'll care when it counts, when a person or an event deserves sympathy. Like, I'm not heartless, (really, I'm not) so I do not like hearing about death or illness or tragedy effecting anyone, especially if those things have effected me at one point, but those types of things are the one and only exception of the lack of fucks I give about other people.
There are two types of people that I actually give a shit about their problems, either my very close friends, (and remember I hate people, so I don't have many friends) or my immediate family. Meaning my mother, father, and two brothers. (Sometimes I don't even care about their problems but they are the people that I care about the most so I just pretend to care because it's the polite thing to do.) After that, I'll start thinking about caring about the problems of my extended family, or other people that I consider good enough friends (basically other people I talk to besides my best friends, so that's like 5 more people)
So I only care about the problems of like 15 people in the world, and the rest of you can go fuck yourselves. I don't want to hear you complain about your lives. Wanna know why? Most of your complaints aren't worth the air you breathed before you spilled them out of your dumb face.
I'm in college. The complaints here fall into only two categories. Relationships (of any kind) or "All the work I have to do ohmygod and I'm sooooo tired you guys I got like 4 hours or sleep last night because of how much work I needed to get done!"
Talk about subjects I don't give a shit about.
First of all, this is college. Chances are that any sort of romantic relationship that you are in probably starts and ends with fuck buddies, even if you aren't aware of that fact. There are exceptions of course, I don't like to make rash generalizations. But the people who actually are in normal, functional relationships feel way less need to bitch about their significant others then the people who are just kidding themselves.
How about problems people have with their roommate/best friends/party buddies? We live with each other, everyone is going to have problems when you spend so much time together. That doesn't make you special or unique, when you live, eat, party, and study with someone their gonna piss you off eventually. Even with stupid things, it's a part of life. After college many of us won't ever see each other again anyway, so it's not even worth it.
Oh, you have a shit-ton of school work to do? Really? Because all I do with my time at college is watch TV, nap, go on the internet and eat.
Oh no, wait, that's you.
The people who bitch the most often and the loudest about "all their work" are the people who don't do any work most of the semester, and freak the fuck out with only 3 weeks left. And yeah, maybe you did only get like 3 hours of sleep last night, but is that counting the 5 hour nap you took in the afternoon?
Look, I don't want to play the "my life is so much harder then yours" game, but I often work 30 hours a week, (sometimes less, but never less then 20 hours) at 3 (yes 3) different jobs, and I never nap during the week, and in the 2 previous semesters I have had 6 classes. I go with this simple philosophy, I don't know too many people who work as long or as often as me, so if I don't complain about being tired, you're not allowed to either.
If you were me, or any other hardworking hard studying college student, it would piss you off too, don't fool yourself.
Do you know how much I want to strangle someone when I hear them complain about being tired, when they do not work at all, have only 5 classes, and nap almost every day? Yeah I feel sooooo bad for your hard life. Must be terrible, especially since you go out and get wasted every night.
Many of us wouldn't know real problems if they walked up and slapped their dicks across our faces.
We're in school still, our lives aren't that hard. Get a grip, get a clue, and get the fuck over yourselves. There's plenty of time to be a fucking annoying negative adult when we graduate
Friday, April 13, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Oh yes, there will be blood
I love horror films.
I love the whole damn horror genre. When someone is getting to know me, this is something they learn very, very quickly. I love horror movies, books, comics and video games (I'm not quite as proficient in my knowledge of the video games though, but i do have a soft spot for Silent Hill. Yes, I have actually played it before.)
I talk about horror movies way too much. I've found out that if you want to make a good impression on someone, you shouldn't talk about how much you enjoy slasher films in the first conversation you've ever had with them
I just love everything about it. I even love the really horrible ones, the ones that bring shame upon the horror genre as we know it. Basically this is referring to (many) remakes that have sprouted up in the past 10 or so years. There is hardly a horror movie I have ever seen that I didn't love thoroughly.
Not to say I can't recognize a terribly made movie when I see it, I watch enough of them to know. And compared to the horror movies of the 80's and before, these current ones are abysmal at best. I just don't seem to care. Should I be ashamed to own House of Wax ('05) , The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ('03), My Bloody Valentine ('09), and a few of the more terrible Saw films? (I'm looking at you numbers 4-7. I am a huge fan of the first one, and other two following it were great, but that's when I got a little lost.) Of course I should be! As a horror buff I should laugh in scorn of those, compare them to the originals, or to the horror films of the 30's/60's/70's/whatever. Do the horror films of those decades prevail over (most) of the ones we have now? Of course! They run dizzying circles around movies like The Human Centipede(was this movie really necessary?), and (several, not all of) The Dawn of the Dead remakes.
Do I care? Nope, not one little bit. I don't apologize for my preferences. I love House of Wax, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, and all of the SAW films. I adore the remake of Halloween, though I wasn't quite as in love with the sequel to that one.
I'll recognize that those types of movies are pretty "bad" under most movie criticisms. But there are a few horror films that I will not budge on.
This list is not in any way complete, and may be at any time changed at my discretion, especially since currently I'm writing this at 12:30am and I can't remember every single horror film I've ever idolized off the top of my head.
Disclaimer: This list may include movies that critics hated, did terrible at the box office, or have been defined as "sucked" by my fellow horror movie fanatics. I don't really give a flying fuck.
I love the whole damn horror genre. When someone is getting to know me, this is something they learn very, very quickly. I love horror movies, books, comics and video games (I'm not quite as proficient in my knowledge of the video games though, but i do have a soft spot for Silent Hill. Yes, I have actually played it before.)
I talk about horror movies way too much. I've found out that if you want to make a good impression on someone, you shouldn't talk about how much you enjoy slasher films in the first conversation you've ever had with them
I just love everything about it. I even love the really horrible ones, the ones that bring shame upon the horror genre as we know it. Basically this is referring to (many) remakes that have sprouted up in the past 10 or so years. There is hardly a horror movie I have ever seen that I didn't love thoroughly.
Not to say I can't recognize a terribly made movie when I see it, I watch enough of them to know. And compared to the horror movies of the 80's and before, these current ones are abysmal at best. I just don't seem to care. Should I be ashamed to own House of Wax ('05) , The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ('03), My Bloody Valentine ('09), and a few of the more terrible Saw films? (I'm looking at you numbers 4-7. I am a huge fan of the first one, and other two following it were great, but that's when I got a little lost.) Of course I should be! As a horror buff I should laugh in scorn of those, compare them to the originals, or to the horror films of the 30's/60's/70's/whatever. Do the horror films of those decades prevail over (most) of the ones we have now? Of course! They run dizzying circles around movies like The Human Centipede(was this movie really necessary?), and (several, not all of) The Dawn of the Dead remakes.
Do I care? Nope, not one little bit. I don't apologize for my preferences. I love House of Wax, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, and all of the SAW films. I adore the remake of Halloween, though I wasn't quite as in love with the sequel to that one.
I'll recognize that those types of movies are pretty "bad" under most movie criticisms. But there are a few horror films that I will not budge on.
This list is not in any way complete, and may be at any time changed at my discretion, especially since currently I'm writing this at 12:30am and I can't remember every single horror film I've ever idolized off the top of my head.
Disclaimer: This list may include movies that critics hated, did terrible at the box office, or have been defined as "sucked" by my fellow horror movie fanatics. I don't really give a flying fuck.
Jenni_Allegedly's List of the best horror films ever made EVER,
-Hostel 1 and Hostel 2. I hold the Hostels in the highest esteems possible. I adore these films beyond words. I think what made them great was the different type of fear in them. It was a different type of horror. Sure there was a bunch of sex and torture and drugs and blah blah in it. But I feel as though there are very few people in the world who have watched these two movies as frequently as I. (No really, I've watched them a fucking lot.) So I've had the time to really dissect these movies down (No pun attended hahaha) Imagine being kidnapped while backpacking abroad. You already don't belong, sometimes you're slightly lost, and maybe a bit naive. (Or in the case of these tourists, fucking idiots.) You'd be easy prey. It's not only the torture that's supposed to scare you in Hostel, although it does some of the best gore scenes ever filmed, it's the feeling that if something even remotely resembling this ever happened to you, you would have no way to get out of this. You have lost control over your life.Your family and friends will never know what became of you. You would be forever missing, and there'd be no way to track you down. And it is that, my friends, is what is scary about these movies.
Anyway I could literally go on all day about Hostel, but time's a-wasting so moving right along.
-The Strangers. This movie rocks. It's horrifying and suspenseful with very little blood and gore, at least less then what I'm used to.
-Dead Silence. Maybe I just really like this movie because I hate ventriloquist dummies, so I find that it did it's job of scaring me.
-The Ring. (American Version) Yes I've seen the original, I've seen a great many Japanese horror films, and I've read a few Japense comics too. The original Ring I found to be well done, definitely not as "Hollywoodized" as the remake. But I found that the original was lacking a LOT in the major creep factor. But I don't think anyone can argue that the scenery and locations in the remake were incredibly creepy, they did a great job with that, and also with the makeup and such. The original didn't scare me at all, but I still get the creeps when watching the remake.
But the second one was pure crap, even I wouldn't defend it.
-The Grudge (American version) Pretty much ditto to everything I've said above, except I liked the Japanese original a lot more for this one.
-Stay Alive I just really like this movie. Don't have much else to say about it
-28 Days/Weeks Later Most people I've ever met agree that these movies are awesome. Talk about iconic zombie movies, those opening scenes in deserted London? Inspired
-Halloween Remake/Prequel whatever you want to call it. I mentioned it briefly before but I admire this movie a lot, and Rob Zombie as a director. It was super ballsy of Rob Zombie to build that whole back story and make it work the way he did.
Saw- The first one. 'Nough said
What was I thinking trying to make a list of all the horror films I like? Talk about lofty endeavors. Why don't I instead make a list of any of the horror films I've ever seen that I haven't liked?
-Scream 4- All my hopes and dreams were smashed with this movie. Emma Roberts as the vicious, soulless mastermind Ghostface? Really? FUCKING REALLY? Horrible.
-The Human Centipede- I also mentioned this movie briefly. I have a pretty strong stomach, so gross stuff in movies like torturing and blood don't ever bother me at all. It didn't bother me in this movie either, I just found absolutely no reason for this movie to exist. The purpose of a film like this is to simply shock people. Despite what everyone think, MOST horror films have some sort of subliminal message or SOMETHING. Like a warning to promiscuous drug and alcohol infused teen partying, or anything! I found no reason for this movie and it wasn't even scary. More then half the movie involved the "Centipede" whimpering and crying in a cage. Wow, how scary.
-Paranormal Activity 3 Again, all my hopes and dreams estinguished by one movie. I found the beginning of this movie to be super promising. I had been told that the last 15 minutes of this film was the most terrifying, suspenseful thing ever filmed. So I was extremely excited when the movie was ending, since the first 3/4 was so great.
I thought it was an honest- to- goodness joke when the movie was over. I would like nothing better in life to find the person who wrote this ending and punch them repeatedly in the neck. A monkey high on coke and strapped to a typewriter could have written a better scary ending.
The Shining- I stared at the screen wondering how the fuck someone could think this movie was scary. It's not. And anyone who thinks it is is a huge pussy. (sorry it's true)
That's about it. Guess I should have done that before writing a list of horror films I adore. (All of them apparently)
Sweet scary dreams everyone!
-The Strangers. This movie rocks. It's horrifying and suspenseful with very little blood and gore, at least less then what I'm used to.
-Dead Silence. Maybe I just really like this movie because I hate ventriloquist dummies, so I find that it did it's job of scaring me.
-The Ring. (American Version) Yes I've seen the original, I've seen a great many Japanese horror films, and I've read a few Japense comics too. The original Ring I found to be well done, definitely not as "Hollywoodized" as the remake. But I found that the original was lacking a LOT in the major creep factor. But I don't think anyone can argue that the scenery and locations in the remake were incredibly creepy, they did a great job with that, and also with the makeup and such. The original didn't scare me at all, but I still get the creeps when watching the remake.
But the second one was pure crap, even I wouldn't defend it.
-The Grudge (American version) Pretty much ditto to everything I've said above, except I liked the Japanese original a lot more for this one.
-Stay Alive I just really like this movie. Don't have much else to say about it
.
-28 Days/Weeks Later Most people I've ever met agree that these movies are awesome. Talk about iconic zombie movies, those opening scenes in deserted London? Inspired
-Halloween Remake/Prequel whatever you want to call it. I mentioned it briefly before but I admire this movie a lot, and Rob Zombie as a director. It was super ballsy of Rob Zombie to build that whole back story and make it work the way he did.
Saw- The first one. 'Nough said
What was I thinking trying to make a list of all the horror films I like? Talk about lofty endeavors. Why don't I instead make a list of any of the horror films I've ever seen that I haven't liked?
-Scream 4- All my hopes and dreams were smashed with this movie. Emma Roberts as the vicious, soulless mastermind Ghostface? Really? FUCKING REALLY? Horrible.
-The Human Centipede- I also mentioned this movie briefly. I have a pretty strong stomach, so gross stuff in movies like torturing and blood don't ever bother me at all. It didn't bother me in this movie either, I just found absolutely no reason for this movie to exist. The purpose of a film like this is to simply shock people. Despite what everyone think, MOST horror films have some sort of subliminal message or SOMETHING. Like a warning to promiscuous drug and alcohol infused teen partying, or anything! I found no reason for this movie and it wasn't even scary. More then half the movie involved the "Centipede" whimpering and crying in a cage. Wow, how scary.
-Paranormal Activity 3 Again, all my hopes and dreams estinguished by one movie. I found the beginning of this movie to be super promising. I had been told that the last 15 minutes of this film was the most terrifying, suspenseful thing ever filmed. So I was extremely excited when the movie was ending, since the first 3/4 was so great.
I thought it was an honest- to- goodness joke when the movie was over. I would like nothing better in life to find the person who wrote this ending and punch them repeatedly in the neck. A monkey high on coke and strapped to a typewriter could have written a better scary ending.
The Shining- I stared at the screen wondering how the fuck someone could think this movie was scary. It's not. And anyone who thinks it is is a huge pussy. (sorry it's true)
That's about it. Guess I should have done that before writing a list of horror films I adore. (All of them apparently)
Sweet scary dreams everyone!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The Abhorrent Academy Part 2: Live from the Theatre
I really did enjoy a good portion of my time in my high school. I met and became friends with awesome people who I'm still close with today, it's just that my high school was so ass-backwards it was ridiculous.
Trying to explain the hierarchy and politics of my former high school is slightly more difficult then actually surviving the experience. I'll try to be as least confusing as conceivably possible.
So, a stereotypical white bread high school in the United States might have a pecking order similar to this, if movies and TV have taught us anything. Excuse me for being very stereotypical, it's kinda the point.
Trying to explain the hierarchy and politics of my former high school is slightly more difficult then actually surviving the experience. I'll try to be as least confusing as conceivably possible.
So, a stereotypical white bread high school in the United States might have a pecking order similar to this, if movies and TV have taught us anything. Excuse me for being very stereotypical, it's kinda the point.
-Jock/Athletes/Cheerleaders
-Guys/Girls popular for other reasons (i.e. funny, or the "token" kid, someone that everyone tolerates because they throw great parties etc)
-Normal kids, neither jocks nor losers but not anything definitive about them
-The kids who are smart but still can function socially, usually the student government kids
-The musical/theatre kids
-The "goth/emo/alternative/stoners"
-The Marching band
-The REALLY smart kids i.e. The "nerds" the "dorks" the "losers" Smart kids with no social skills whatsoever
-Then you might have the totally untouchables, which are generally a very small handful of kids who all the other groups agree are either "Weird" or "freaks"
I'm not sure if anyone agrees with this fictionalized, 80's teen movie cliche high school politics list or not, but I think it's fairly accurate.
Now, my school's foodchain was like this
This behavior of just letting everyone in stopped abruptly in middle school. Also in middle school is when they started forcing us to actually try out for these musicals IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. What a horribly cruel thing to do to adolescent children. In high school you got to try out in a classroom by yourself, but everyone else who was also trying out stood outside the door with their ears pressed against it listening to you, so it was hardly better. Fucking musical kids.
Now, my school's foodchain was like this
-Jocks/Athletes/Cheerleaders/Musical Kids/REALLY smart kids (many of these people were also often in student government)
-Everyone else
Did I go to a performing arts high school? Did I go to a private, expensive school where being smart is a requirement for being admitted, thus everyone is smart?
No, I went to a PUBLIC high school.
Now, the athletes/cheerleaders that went to my high school would have probably liked to believe that they were the most popular, most exclusive clique. That's actually not true. The musical kids, along with the band/orchestra/marching band kids were actually the hardest to get integrated into. They were the ones that judged, that made fun. (Jocks too I suppose but I've personally experienced the musical kids.) Hell my classes' Prom Queen was a girl who was always the leads in the musicals. On what planet is a high school's Prom Queen a musical/theatre girl?? Is this real life?
My school district, as public as it was, was extremely fortunate to have an above excellent music program. Everyone who was in the musical was GOOD. If you weren't good, then you were not in the musical, it was as simple as that. And this started wayyyyy back in Elementary school, I was actually in two "Operettas" as we called them back in elementary school, but that's party because that was before it mattered to everyone QUITE so much who was in the choruses, and everyone was in them.
(But, surprise surprise, the ones always getting the main parts even in elementary/middle school were always the ones who had the main parts in high school. Gee, where did their sense of entitlement come from I wonder?)
This behavior of just letting everyone in stopped abruptly in middle school. Also in middle school is when they started forcing us to actually try out for these musicals IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. What a horribly cruel thing to do to adolescent children. In high school you got to try out in a classroom by yourself, but everyone else who was also trying out stood outside the door with their ears pressed against it listening to you, so it was hardly better. Fucking musical kids.
(My elementary school musical teacher wasn't a horrible evil person like the middle school and high school musical teachers were, she just let us join if we wanted to)
I love musicals and the theater, and oh how I used to wish that I could have been in a school where the musical kids were mocked by the "popular" people, and as a result the musical kids were accepting of everyone, and grateful for anyone who wanted to just be in the musical. No such luck of course.
Sometimes talent wasn't even good enough for them. I know personally of a few accounts where a person was talented, but they were not "in" with the musical kids, (an outsider) so they did not get in the musical. (The director played favorites too, and I hate her so much)
I grudgingly admit that our musicals were awesome, but I still don't think it gave those people the right to act they way they did.
Why did we HAVE to be good? It was only high school. Why did it matter? Why couldn't we have admitted everyone? We could have left the main parts to the ones who had the great voices, I wouldn't have cared. All I ever wanted was the chorus. It didn't, and it doesn't make any sense. It's not Broadway people.
My bitter feelings toward all theatre/musical kids are perfectly justified. It's exactly the same as my stereotypical "nerd" hating the stereotypical "jock" in high school. The musical kids were rude, haughty, entitled, and strutted around like they were the hottest shit.
By the way I would never go so far as to call them bullies. It was more of the way they looked at everyone who wasn't them, they way they spoke to you if they absolutely had to. The smirks on their stupid faces.
Unfortunately I have carried my disdain for those involved in the theatre life over from my former high school years. I currently work in the theatre department at my college. (I spell the word "theater" like "theatre" out of habit, it's how they spell it the department) During my three years here I have discovered that there is no shortage of egos in this theatre program, and it gives me such horrible flashbacks to high school. I have been here almost every weekday working for the past three school years, and still the stares I get when I walk down the theatre hallway make me want to flip. I want to say "Well, obviously I'm not a theatre major but don't ANY of you recognize me from, oh, I don't know, EVERY DAY?" It's infuriating.
Fortunately, I have personally met a handful (a small handful) of perfectly pleasant, normal, lovely theatre majors while I've been working here. Which has improved my impression of them slightly. And I am also glad that they faculty and staff of the theatre department do not appear to be as horrific as the previous directors of musicals I had to deal with during my younger years. (Or not deal with, since I wasn't in musicals)
But nope, I'm not bitter at all. Being treated badly and looked down upon by the powerful people in my high school doesn't have any effect on my attitude now as an (almost) adult. Of course not!
Okay so I'm super bitter. But not at never being "one of them." I'm mad because I love music, I love song and dance and the glitzy nonsense of musicals. I'm bitter because I was never able to be apart of that, and I certainly won't ever be able to now. I feel like my chance was missed.
If this post doesn't really make a lot of sense then I apologize, it's hard to recreate the same feelings and environment that I felt in high school. I've gotten over a lot of stuff, I've grown up a lot too, so these things don't seem as important as they once did. But unfortunately things that happen in high school will always be in the back of everyone's mind. But I have the good times in high school to look back on fondly.
Why did we HAVE to be good? It was only high school. Why did it matter? Why couldn't we have admitted everyone? We could have left the main parts to the ones who had the great voices, I wouldn't have cared. All I ever wanted was the chorus. It didn't, and it doesn't make any sense. It's not Broadway people.
My bitter feelings toward all theatre/musical kids are perfectly justified. It's exactly the same as my stereotypical "nerd" hating the stereotypical "jock" in high school. The musical kids were rude, haughty, entitled, and strutted around like they were the hottest shit.
By the way I would never go so far as to call them bullies. It was more of the way they looked at everyone who wasn't them, they way they spoke to you if they absolutely had to. The smirks on their stupid faces.
Unfortunately I have carried my disdain for those involved in the theatre life over from my former high school years. I currently work in the theatre department at my college. (I spell the word "theater" like "theatre" out of habit, it's how they spell it the department) During my three years here I have discovered that there is no shortage of egos in this theatre program, and it gives me such horrible flashbacks to high school. I have been here almost every weekday working for the past three school years, and still the stares I get when I walk down the theatre hallway make me want to flip. I want to say "Well, obviously I'm not a theatre major but don't ANY of you recognize me from, oh, I don't know, EVERY DAY?" It's infuriating.
Fortunately, I have personally met a handful (a small handful) of perfectly pleasant, normal, lovely theatre majors while I've been working here. Which has improved my impression of them slightly. And I am also glad that they faculty and staff of the theatre department do not appear to be as horrific as the previous directors of musicals I had to deal with during my younger years. (Or not deal with, since I wasn't in musicals)
But nope, I'm not bitter at all. Being treated badly and looked down upon by the powerful people in my high school doesn't have any effect on my attitude now as an (almost) adult. Of course not!
Okay so I'm super bitter. But not at never being "one of them." I'm mad because I love music, I love song and dance and the glitzy nonsense of musicals. I'm bitter because I was never able to be apart of that, and I certainly won't ever be able to now. I feel like my chance was missed.
If this post doesn't really make a lot of sense then I apologize, it's hard to recreate the same feelings and environment that I felt in high school. I've gotten over a lot of stuff, I've grown up a lot too, so these things don't seem as important as they once did. But unfortunately things that happen in high school will always be in the back of everyone's mind. But I have the good times in high school to look back on fondly.
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