If I have to hear one more person complain about being "friendzoned"

Okay, I've had about as much as I could possibly take of this.

I imagine right now, that you, my beloved audience, have your heads cocked quizzically to one side. "Why Jenni," (you may be asking) "Just what in this world are you talking about?"

I'll fucking tell you what I'm talking about. Nice Guy Complainers.

No no, not "nice guys". You have me wrong. These ones are in a class all by themselves. They are "Nice Guy Complainers"

You know the type, you know you do.  A guy who, in his eyes, is nice. He's not a woman beater. He's not a drug addict or an alcoholic. He's not a dick. He likes women and (he says) would treat a girl like a princess. He would never make them feel down, he would compliment them and listen to them and love them unconditionally.

This description usually is followed by the guy complaining that "Girls always date douchbags. They always friendzone the guys that really care about them."

Okay, hold one on fucking minute here. I want to tell you a little secret. These guys, the ones who are always fucking complaning about this. On facebook, on twitter, in person. There is a fucking reason why these guys are friendzoned.

Why? Because they're wimps. They are insecure, desperate, clingy wimps.

Not physically, that doesn't have anything to do with this. I mean emotionally. I mean personality wise.

Do NOT misunderstand me on this. I am not generalizing. This is NOT the case for every guy who is friendzoned. Some girls really are stupid whores and date douchbags. I am not referring to those whores. I am not referring to the situations where a nice NORMAL guy really is friendzoned. But the guys that are always moaning their fucking heads off about this? Yeah these guys are normally wimpy clingy and desperate 

I have dated two men that fall into this category.  They were, for all intensive purposes, "nice guys." (at first glance anyway) They both were very much into me.  Which normally would be a good things.  However after the first few dates I began to realize how wimpy they really were. Neither of them EVER made a move on me.  Like, not even a kiss was attempted.  And these guys were REALLY into me (I'm not bragging they really were.) Why would a guy who was really into a girl not even attempt a kiss? 

Then, after only knowing one of the guys a week, he made me a fucking mix CD of love songs.  Cute? Yeah maybe if he had known me more than a week. At the time it was really weird and a turn off.  It was all love songs. I mean, clingy much? It had been a week!  The other guy I dated would awkwardly grab my hand and rub it sometimes, and would awkwardly grab my shoulder and pull me in for a hug. At the WEIRDEST times ever. Yet he never tried a kiss. It was horrible.

Now both these guys were very nice to me. But you know what? Sometimes that's not enough. I'm sorry guys. It's true. Just because you are nice doesn't automatically mean girls will like you.  Don't twist my words and make it seem like I'm another whore who likes guys who are dicks to her.  I just mean, maybe you should try acting like MEN.  The guys were so desperate to please me. A relationship isn't a one way street. It can't be just about one person, either the guy or the girl.  The one guy never had anything to say to me. He was a great listener. He really was. And he responded to me when it was necessary while I was talking. But he never had anything to say. Ever. I didn't know really anything about his friends or family, or much about his hobbies. And we went out a good seven or eight times.  Most of the time these dates were just me chattering away while he just stared at me.  

I'm sorry to say that I can absolutely see why these two guys were friendzoned their whole lives.  Nothing about them was remotely romantically attractive to me.  But I could see them being pretty good friends.

You know guys, she might just friendzone you because she only likes you as a friend. Ever think of that?

Again, this post is not a generalization.  I know there are millions of nice guys out there who are NOT wimps. But there are the same amount of men out there that are. This just refers to them.  

If you think this post is mean, well fuck off. Need I remind you of the name of this blog?

With Deepest Sympathy

I am not a sympathetic person. I'm a bitch, what do you expect?
Nor am I a very empathetic person. If I've gone through something and survived there is no reason someone else wouldn't either.

I'll care when it counts, when a person or an event deserves sympathy. Like, I'm not heartless, (really, I'm not) so I do not like hearing about death or illness or tragedy effecting anyone, especially if those things have effected me at one point, but those types of things are the one and only exception of the lack of fucks I give about other people.
There are two types of people that I actually give a shit about their problems, either my very close friends, (and remember I hate people, so I don't have many friends) or my immediate family.  Meaning my mother, father, and two brothers. (Sometimes I don't even care about their problems but they are the people that I care about the most so I just pretend to care because it's the polite thing to do.)  After that, I'll start thinking about caring about the problems of my extended family, or other people that I consider good enough friends (basically other people I talk to besides my best friends, so that's like 5 more people)

So I only care about the problems of like 15 people in the world, and the rest of you can go fuck yourselves. I don't want to hear you complain about your lives.  Wanna know why? Most of your complaints aren't worth the air you breathed before you spilled them out of your dumb face.

 I'm in college. The complaints here fall into only two categories. Relationships (of any kind) or "All the work I have to do ohmygod and I'm sooooo tired you guys I got like 4 hours or sleep last night because of how much work I needed to get done!"
Talk about subjects I don't give a shit about.

First of all, this is college. Chances are that any sort of romantic relationship that you are in probably starts and ends with fuck buddies, even if you aren't aware of that fact. There are exceptions of course, I don't like to make rash generalizations.  But the people who actually are in normal, functional relationships feel way less need to bitch about their significant others then the people who are just kidding themselves.

How about problems people have with their roommate/best friends/party buddies? We live with each other, everyone is going to have problems when you spend so much time together. That doesn't make you special or unique, when you live, eat, party, and study with someone their gonna piss you off eventually. Even with stupid things, it's a part of life.  After college many of us won't ever see each other again anyway, so it's not even worth it.

Oh, you have a shit-ton of school work to do? Really? Because all I do with my time at college is watch TV, nap, go on the internet and eat.

Oh no, wait, that's you.

The people who bitch the most often and the loudest about "all their work" are the people who don't do any work most of the semester, and freak the fuck out with only 3 weeks left.  And yeah, maybe you did only get like 3 hours of sleep last night, but is that counting the 5 hour nap you took in the afternoon?

Look, I don't want to play the "my life is so much harder then yours" game, but I often work 30 hours a week, (sometimes less, but never less then 20 hours) at 3 (yes 3) different jobs, and I never nap during the week, and in the 2 previous semesters I have had 6 classes.  I go with this simple philosophy, I don't know too many people who work as long or as often as me, so if I don't complain about being tired, you're not allowed to either.
If you were me, or any other hardworking hard studying college student, it would piss you off too, don't fool yourself.
Do you know how much I want to strangle someone when I hear them complain about being tired, when they do not work at all, have only 5 classes, and nap almost every day? Yeah I feel sooooo bad for your hard life. Must be terrible, especially since you go out and get wasted every night.

Many of us wouldn't know real problems if they walked up and slapped their dicks across our faces.

We're in school still, our lives aren't that hard. Get a grip, get a clue, and get the fuck over yourselves. There's plenty of time to be a fucking annoying negative adult when we graduate

Oh yes, there will be blood

I love horror films.

I love the whole damn horror genre.  When someone is getting to know me, this is something they learn very, very quickly.  I love horror movies, books, comics and video games (I'm not quite as proficient in my knowledge of the video games though, but i do have a soft spot for Silent Hill.  Yes, I have actually played it before.)

I talk about horror movies way too much.  I've found out that if you want to make a good impression on someone, you shouldn't talk about how much you enjoy slasher films in the first conversation you've ever had with them

I just love everything about it. I even love the really horrible ones, the ones that bring shame upon the horror genre as we know it.  Basically this is referring to (many) remakes that have sprouted up in the past 10 or so years.  There is hardly a horror movie I have ever seen that I didn't love thoroughly.

Not to say I can't recognize a terribly made movie when I see it, I watch enough of them to know.  And compared to the horror movies of the 80's and before, these current ones are abysmal at best.  I just don't seem to care.  Should I be ashamed to own House of Wax ('05) , The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ('03), My Bloody Valentine ('09), and a few of the more terrible Saw films? (I'm looking at you numbers 4-7. I am a huge fan of the first one, and other two following it were great, but that's when I got a little lost.)  Of course I should be! As a horror buff I should laugh in scorn of those, compare them to the originals, or to the horror films of the 30's/60's/70's/whatever. Do the horror films of those decades prevail over (most) of the ones we have now? Of course! They run dizzying circles around movies like The Human Centipede(was this movie really necessary?), and (several, not all of) The Dawn of the Dead remakes.

Do I care? Nope, not one little bit.  I don't apologize for my preferences. I love House of Wax, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, and all of the SAW films.  I adore the remake of Halloween, though I wasn't quite as in love with the sequel to that one.

I'll recognize that those types of movies are pretty "bad" under most movie criticisms. But there are a few horror films that I will not budge on.

This list is not in any way complete, and may be at any time changed at my discretion, especially since currently I'm writing this at 12:30am and I can't remember every single horror film I've ever idolized off the top of my head.
Disclaimer: This list may include movies that critics hated, did terrible at the box office, or have been defined as "sucked" by my fellow horror movie fanatics.  I don't really give a flying fuck.

Jenni_Allegedly's List of the best horror films ever made EVER, 

-Hostel 1 and Hostel 2.  I hold the Hostels in the highest esteems possible.  I adore these films beyond words. I think what made them great was the different type of fear in them.  It was a different type of horror. Sure there was a bunch of sex and torture and drugs and blah blah in it.  But I feel as though there are very few people in the world who have watched these two movies as frequently as I. (No really, I've watched them a fucking lot.) So I've had the time to really dissect these movies down (No pun attended hahaha)  Imagine being kidnapped while backpacking abroad. You already don't belong, sometimes you're slightly lost, and maybe a bit naive. (Or in the case of these tourists, fucking idiots.)  You'd be easy prey. It's not only the torture that's supposed to scare you in Hostel, although it does some of the best gore scenes ever filmed, it's the feeling that if something even remotely resembling this ever happened to you, you would have no way to get out of this.  You have lost control over your life.Your family and friends will never know what became of you. You would be forever missing, and there'd be no way to track you down. And it is that, my friends, is what is scary about these movies. 

Anyway I could literally go on all day about Hostel, but time's a-wasting so moving right along.

-The Strangers. This movie rocks. It's horrifying and suspenseful with very little blood and gore, at least less then what I'm used to.

-Dead Silence. Maybe I just really like this movie because I hate ventriloquist dummies, so I find that it did it's job of scaring me.

-The Ring. (American Version) Yes I've seen the original, I've seen a great many Japanese horror films, and I've read a few Japense comics too.  The original Ring I found to be well done, definitely not as "Hollywoodized" as the remake.  But I found that the original was lacking a LOT in the major creep factor. But I don't think anyone can argue that the scenery and locations in the remake were incredibly creepy, they did a great job with that, and also with the makeup and such. The original didn't scare me at all, but I still get the creeps when watching the remake.
 But the second one was pure crap, even I wouldn't defend it.

-The Grudge (American version) Pretty much ditto to everything I've said above, except I liked the Japanese original a lot more for this one.

-Stay Alive I just really like this movie. Don't have much else to say about it

. 

-28 Days/Weeks Later Most people I've ever met agree that these movies are awesome. Talk about iconic zombie movies, those opening scenes in deserted London? Inspired

-Halloween Remake/Prequel whatever you want to call it.  I mentioned it briefly before but I admire this movie a lot, and Rob Zombie as a director.  It was super ballsy of Rob Zombie to build that whole back story and make it work the way he did.

Saw- The first one. 'Nough said

What was I thinking trying to make a list of all the horror films I like? Talk about lofty endeavors. Why don't I instead make a list of any of the horror films I've ever seen that I haven't liked?

-Scream 4- All my hopes and dreams were smashed with this movie. Emma Roberts as the vicious, soulless mastermind Ghostface? Really? FUCKING REALLY? Horrible.

-The Human Centipede- I also mentioned this movie briefly. I have a pretty strong stomach, so gross stuff in movies like torturing and blood don't ever bother me at all.  It didn't bother me in this movie either,  I just found absolutely no reason for this movie to exist.  The purpose of a film like this is to simply shock people.  Despite what everyone think, MOST horror films have some sort of subliminal message or SOMETHING.  Like a warning to promiscuous drug and alcohol infused teen partying, or anything! I found no reason for this movie and it wasn't even scary. More then half the movie involved the "Centipede" whimpering and crying in a cage. Wow, how scary.

-Paranormal Activity 3 Again, all my hopes and dreams estinguished by one movie.  I found the beginning of this movie to be super promising. I had been told that the last 15 minutes of this film was the most terrifying, suspenseful thing ever filmed.  So I was extremely excited when the movie was ending, since the first 3/4 was so great.
I thought it was an honest- to- goodness joke when the movie was over. I would like nothing better in life to find the person who wrote this ending and punch them repeatedly in the neck. A monkey high on coke and strapped to a typewriter could have written a better scary ending.

The Shining- I stared at the screen wondering how the fuck someone could think this movie was scary. It's not. And anyone who thinks it is is a huge pussy. (sorry it's true)

That's about it.  Guess I should have done that before writing a list of horror films I adore. (All of them apparently)

Sweet scary dreams everyone!

The Abhorrent Academy Part 2: Live from the Theatre

I really did enjoy a good portion of my time in my high school. I met and became friends with awesome people who I'm still close with today, it's just that my high school was so ass-backwards it was ridiculous.

Trying to explain the hierarchy and politics of my former high school is slightly more difficult then actually surviving the experience. I'll try to be as least confusing as conceivably possible.

So, a stereotypical white bread high school in the United States might have a pecking order similar to this, if movies and TV have taught us anything. Excuse me for being very stereotypical, it's kinda the point.

-Jock/Athletes/Cheerleaders

-Guys/Girls popular for other reasons (i.e. funny, or the "token" kid, someone that everyone tolerates because they throw great parties etc)

-Normal kids, neither jocks nor losers but not anything definitive about them

-The kids who are smart but still can function socially, usually the student government kids

-The musical/theatre kids

-The "goth/emo/alternative/stoners"

-The Marching band

-The REALLY smart kids i.e. The "nerds" the "dorks" the "losers" Smart kids with no social skills whatsoever

-Then you might have the totally untouchables, which are generally a very small handful of kids who all the other groups agree are either "Weird" or "freaks"

I'm not sure if anyone agrees with this fictionalized, 80's teen movie cliche high school politics list or not, but I think it's fairly accurate.

Now, my school's foodchain was like this

-Jocks/Athletes/Cheerleaders/Musical Kids/REALLY smart kids (many of these people were also often in student government)

-Everyone else

Did I go to a performing arts high school? Did I go to a private, expensive school where being smart is a requirement for being admitted, thus everyone is smart?

No, I went to a PUBLIC high school. 

Now, the athletes/cheerleaders that went to my high school would have probably liked to believe that they were the most popular, most exclusive clique.  That's actually not true.  The musical kids, along with the band/orchestra/marching band kids were actually the hardest to get integrated into. They were the ones that judged, that made fun. (Jocks too I suppose but I've personally experienced the musical kids.) Hell my classes' Prom Queen was a girl who was always the leads in the musicals. On what planet is a high school's Prom Queen a musical/theatre girl?? Is this real life?

My school district, as public as it was, was extremely fortunate to have an above excellent music program.  Everyone who was in the musical was GOOD. If you weren't good, then you were not in the musical, it was as simple as that. And this started wayyyyy back in Elementary school, I was actually in two "Operettas" as we called them back in elementary school, but that's party because that was before it mattered to everyone QUITE so much who was in the choruses, and everyone was in them. 

(But, surprise surprise, the ones always getting the main parts even in elementary/middle school were always the ones who had the main parts in high school. Gee, where did their sense of entitlement come from I wonder?)

This behavior of just letting everyone in stopped abruptly in middle school. Also in middle school is when they started forcing us to actually try out for these musicals IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. What a horribly cruel thing to do to adolescent children. In high school you got to try out in a classroom by yourself, but everyone else who was also trying out stood outside the door with their ears pressed against it listening to you, so it was hardly better. Fucking musical kids.

 (My elementary school musical teacher wasn't a horrible evil person like the middle school and high school musical teachers were, she just let us join if we wanted to)

I love musicals and the theater, and oh how I used to wish that I could have been in a school where the musical kids were mocked by the "popular" people, and as a result the musical kids were accepting of everyone, and grateful for anyone who wanted to just be in the musical. No such luck of course.

Sometimes talent wasn't even good enough for them.  I know personally of a few accounts where a person was talented, but they were not "in" with the musical kids, (an outsider) so they did not get in the musical. (The director played favorites too, and I hate her so much)

I grudgingly admit that our musicals were awesome, but I still don't think it gave those people the right to act they way they did.

Why did we HAVE to be good? It was only high school. Why did it matter? Why couldn't we have admitted everyone? We could have left the main parts to the ones who had the great voices, I wouldn't have cared. All I ever wanted was the chorus. It didn't, and it doesn't make any sense. It's not Broadway people.

My bitter feelings toward all theatre/musical kids are perfectly justified. It's exactly the same as my stereotypical "nerd" hating the stereotypical "jock" in high school.  The musical kids were rude, haughty, entitled, and strutted around like they were the hottest shit.

By the way I would never go so far as to call them bullies. It was more of the way they looked at everyone who wasn't them, they way they spoke to you if they absolutely had to. The smirks on their stupid faces.

Unfortunately I have carried my disdain for those involved in the theatre life over from my former high school years.  I currently work in the theatre department at my college.  (I spell the word "theater" like "theatre" out of habit, it's how they spell it the department) During my three years here I have discovered that there is no shortage of egos in this theatre program, and it gives me such horrible flashbacks to high school.  I have been here almost every weekday working for the past three school years, and still the stares I get when I walk down the theatre hallway make me want to flip.  I want to say "Well, obviously I'm not a theatre major but don't ANY of you recognize me from, oh, I don't know, EVERY DAY?"  It's infuriating.

Fortunately, I have personally met a handful (a small handful) of perfectly pleasant, normal, lovely theatre majors while I've been working here.  Which has improved my impression of them slightly. And I am also glad that they faculty and staff of the theatre department do not appear to be as horrific as the previous directors of musicals I  had to deal with during my younger years. (Or not deal with, since I wasn't in musicals)

But nope, I'm not bitter at all.  Being treated badly and looked down upon by the powerful people in my high school doesn't have any effect on my attitude now as an (almost) adult. Of course not!

Okay so I'm super bitter. But not at never being "one of them." I'm mad because I love music, I love song and dance and the glitzy nonsense of musicals. I'm bitter because I was never able to be apart of that, and I certainly won't ever be able to now. I feel like my chance was missed.

If this post doesn't really make a lot of sense then I apologize, it's hard to recreate the same feelings and environment that I felt in high school. I've gotten over a lot of stuff, I've grown up a lot too, so these things don't seem as important as they once did.  But unfortunately things that happen in high school will always be in the back of everyone's mind.  But I have the good times in high school to look back on fondly. 

The Abhorrent Academy

I grew up in a school district that was considered "rich" by the surrounding towns' districts.  There were (and are), admittedly, some very very wealthy people that attended my school.  I was not one of them.  I have no reason to lie to my invisible audience.  If you want maybe I'll post some pictures of my house sometimes on here, if anyone doubts me.  But, if you went to my school district, you were "rich". That's just how it went.  I would say maybe 15% of the people that went there probably had what most of America would consider to be very well off.  50% of the people were middle class, maybe slightly above but still average.  And 35% of the people (myself and several of my very close friends included) were lower class, and wondered how the fuck people could tell us to our faces that we went to the "rich" school.

Maybe all the towns thought we were rich because many of the students, even me I admit sometimes, tried their hardest to appear that they were as wealthy as the top 15%.  It was kind of a vicious cycle.  Everyone bought Northface fleeces, Coach shoes, UGG boots and Vera Bradley bags to try and seem like they had the funds to spare, and then in order to try and fit in more and more people bought these status symbol-type products to appear rich, not knowing that most of the time these products are bought and carried around by students as a facade.  There were only a few kids here and there who bought those items because they could afford them.

I had Coach shoes (they were my only birthday present one year because they cost so much) And I wore the shit out of those shoes.  I wore them everyday until they got holes in the bottoms.  I desperately wanted UGG boots and a Northface, but my mother found out the prices and refused to buy them for me.

People will ask, why? Why did you want to fit in? Everyone wants to fit in in high school, at least in one group. You're lying if you say you didn't.  Am I like this now? No not nearly, although I still enjoy Vera Bradley purses, for my own reasons haha.  As I get older I, as well as many, realize that fitting in isn't nearly as important as being your own person.  But I was a dumb kid in high school, I didn't know any better.  There were so many popular kids in my school, it seemed like they had it all and were so happy.  Everyone wants that, and that's why my high school was so fucked.  Those kids weren't necessarily any happier then I was, but they had beautiful clothes, and shiny cars that mommy and daddy bought them to drive to school.
I would glance at the student parking lot as I descended the bus that was coughing inky smoke into the air, and watch the paint on the cars glitter in the sun. Something would always twist inside me, and I later figured it was mostly jealousy tinged with sadness.

Anyway the point of this post is to let everyone know what my backdrop of life was, and the ambiance of my school.  It was a pretty abhorrent place.  I'll go into more detail about why it may or may not be partly to blame for may hatred of people (especially theater people), and my bitchiness haha.

'Till next time

I hate everyone

I hate people

If you would have to describe me as either an extrovert or an introvert, I'd say I'd be a Get-The-Fuck-Away-From-Me-vert. I'll be nice and social when the situation calls for it. Group projects, interviews.  Most of everyday life requires some sort of quiet pleasantries exchanged between people for various reasons. I'm fine with that. I cannot live my life as a hermit.  This is where I am only a PART-time bitch.  I can consider myself  nice.  I would not be mean to an innocent human being.  Normal people do not cause me grief, but the world is not filled with normal people that do not interrupt my daily life.  I am a huge bitch to people who do a number of things.  Bother me with stupid questions, wear ridiculous or slutty outfits on days other then Halloween. (And on Halloween too, but I just get slightly less annoyed) Girls who walk around like they think they're hot stuff but are just butterfaces (if you don't know the term look it up, it's quite amusing), guys who walk around like they're hot stuff and are fucking ugly assholes. Theater people, oh how I hate theater people. And if anyone who does theater is reading this, don't condemn me yet. I have real reasons for hating the theater people I've come across in my life. That will be discussed later.

People like to say, "Don't Judge" Okay I get that. I won't, and I don't, judge people for being overweight, (That would make me hypocritical) or doing certain things that I know may be their only options, even if it reflects badly on them. Or anything having to do with their sexual orientation/religion/race/gender. Never.  I try to not even judge a stranger for being rude to me, even if it makes me see red, because they may have had a really really bad day. But YES I WILL judge you if, including but not limited to, you're wearing like, see through tights and a t-shirt.  Or socks with sandals, or if you say something stupid/racist/homophobic in a public setting just to get a laugh. OR if you make fun of someone openly for no reason at all, especially about something they can't change or have no control over.  OR if you happen to be overweight and meet all the above criteria.

Occasionally in my posts I'll mention people as being ugly, or something.  100% of the time I don't hate those people BECAUSE they are ugly. I usually hate them for other things, and the ugly is just a bonus. :D

I am very very blunt.  Mostly to my friends.  But they've have gotten used to it over the years. But I won't start problems for no reason, I'll finish problems though.  And, I can say this with huge confidence.


Everything I will say about someone, whether it be a friend or a foe, is true

I don't make shit up. Ever. I have never lied in my life. If I say it, it's the truth